By Jeffrey Mayhugh
Seek motivation from others that have what you want, done what you want to do, and lived the life you desire. Use books, seminars, and advice from wise and successful people to help motivate you to pursue what you really want. But know this; you must ultimately learn to motivate yourself and take action to achieve what you really want.
All the advice and guidance from others cannot replace your own internal voice. Consistent self-motivation to do what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, is one of the most important powers you must develop to enjoy the greatest success in your life.
The Pain vs. Pleasure Principle
Understand what motivates you. Everything you do is motivated by two fundamental desires; one is to gain pleasure and the other is to avoid pain. This has also been described as the motivations of comfort vs. discomfort, or love vs. fear.
Think about any decision you have made in your life. You ultimately made the decision to do anything based on your desire to either obtain some form of pleasure or avoid some form of pain.
As you go about your day, you are making decisions, either consciously or subconsciously. And as you make each decision about what to do and what not to do, you are asking and answering the pleasure vs. pain question.
It does not matter if you are making a decision as simple as what to have for lunch or as life-altering as proposing marriage, your decisions are based on your assessment of what will help you to gain pleasure and what will help you to avoid pain.
Some of the greatest thinkers throughout history taught that avoiding pain is a more powerful motivator than the desire for obtaining pleasure.
"The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain." - Aristotle -
So, why is the understanding of this pain vs. pleasure principle so important to self-motivation? Because, by recognizing the principle, we can better control the direction of our lives by assigning the levels of pain vs. pleasure to the actions we are considering.
How to Use the Pain vs. Pleasure Principle
For example, if you want to approach your boss for a raise, you may imagine your boss getting angry or ridiculing you for asking. You associate the possibility of pain to taking the action. Furthermore, you assign a level or degree of potential pain to that action.
You may also imagine what a raise would mean to you or your family. You think of how good it would feel to have the additional money for something you want, or the pleasure you would feel providing something extra for your family. You associate the possibility of pleasure to taking the action. As with the potential for pain, you also assign a level or degree of potential pleasure to that action.
So, you weigh the possibility of pain you assigned to an unreceptive boss against the possibility of pleasure you assigned to what you could do with the extra money.
Which one motivates you more? Most often the fear of pain outweighs the hope for pleasure. So, you choose not to act.
However, you have the ability to assign the weight of the pleasure and the weight of the pain to tip the scale. You can motivate yourself to ask for the raise by associating more pain to not asking for it.
It is important to remember that we are instinctively motivated by the need to avoid pain. So, imagine and feel the pain you would experience by not taking action. Imagining the pain you would feel is your greatest motivator to take action. Then, as an added measure, imagine and feel the pleasure you would experience by taking the action and being successful as a result. Control the scale in your favor. Motivate yourself by assigning massive pain to inaction and great pleasure to action.
Recognize that self-motivation is a choice you make. You can choose to motivate yourself, using the pleasure vs. pain principle, or you can allow your subconscious to control your actions by default.
Don't allow your subconscious decisions to dictate your actions, or inactions. Ask yourself what is motivating you to do what you are doing throughout the day. Magnify in your mind the pain you will experience if you fail to act. Likewise, magnify in your mind the pleasure you will experience if you take the action that you know will ultimately be in your best interest.
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